Anonyboy on Hiatus

[r a m b l i n g] Like millions of others, I too will be heading home for the holidays. That also will keep me away from regular posting for awhile. Unlike other bloggers who have understandably but sadly decided to call it quits lately, I will be back after the new year. It's not that readership has been so extraordinary to demand it (because it hasn't), or because my inbox has been overflowing with fan mail (because it hasn't), but rather because I still have things to say; it just takes me days at a time to think of them sometimes.

Anyway, besides a week home for the holidays, the first week of the new year will take me out of town on business right away. I'll be heading to a certain college town/state capitol for a few days. It's too bad I don't know any bloggers in that city who could let me know where the cool places to hang out are located. Too bad for me (but lucky for everyone else), I am not a stalker and wouldn't dare initiate any sort of contact with someone whom I only know through words, eloquent and entertaining though those words may be. So I'll be hanging out with work people for a week, which is likely to be bo-ring, but perhaps it will provide for an amusing anecdote or two to post when I return.

So happy holidays, y'all. I'll talk at ya again in 2005.

Much love,
Anonyboy

Cold Weather Quandry

[r a m b l i n g] So I drive by this incredibly stupid teenager walking on the sidewalk in the middle of nowhere wearing only a hooded sweatshirt in below-zero weather, and I think, you know, I should stop and offer him a ride before he freezes to death trying to walk to wherever he's walking to. But of course I can't do that, because then I'd be that creepy stranger every parent warns their kids to run away from. So my hero complex was shot down. I just hope I don't turn on the news later to see a story about a moron teenager who froze to death walking to wherever wearing only a hooded sweatshirt.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

From Anonyboy With Love

[r a m b l i n g] Christmas shopping is done!!

Hoo-freakin'-ray!

Now I gotta wrap 'em all.

Grr.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Eight Days a Week

[r a m b l i n g] I have WAY too much to do this week and not nearly enough days to get it all done. What little Christmas shopping I have left will require trips to at least five different stores (whereas my previous trip only required three stores over three miserable hours). Then I'll need time to wrap those presents, do laundry and pack for the holiday weekend with my family; plus I've got my regular work shift plus year-end meetings there and my usual workouts to try and fit in (although today's icy weather here may be a good enough excuse to skip).

Oh, and perhaps the biggest waste of time this week: I have a lunch date this afternoon. With a GIRL!

More on that later. Maybe.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Shopping Humbug

[r a m b l i n g] My anti-shopping gene is flaring up again. Thankfully, after three hours of torture at the mall yesterday, my Christmas shopping is almost complete. The procrastination is not all my fault; many of my family members were late with their lists this year. I'll finish the rest of it next week; there's no way in hell I'm setting foot anywhere near a mall on the busiest shopping weekend of the year.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Checking It Twice

[r a m b l i n g] And here I was having trouble coming up with a Christmas wish list:

Unfortunately, a closet-case like me can't legitimately ask anybody I know for it.

I am, however, anticipating the Christmas morning opening of a brand spanking new digital camera. So perhaps more shirtless photos will follow as a result, all in a purely selfish effort to drive away up traffic to the blog.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Take a Deep Breath...

[r a m b l i n g] Today was a true exercise in self-control. I resisted the urge to chew out two co-workers who were both bitching about having to work on the same kind of crappy shift as me. First, that kind of attitude is not productive. Secondly, they shouldn't complain; both are only stuck on the shift temporarily; I have no other choice.

Later, I challenged myself at the gym by resisting the temptation to turn my head and gawk at the hottie on the exercise bike to my left, mostly because it would have been embarassingly obvious that I was staring at him (since there was nothing else worth looking at near him). Thankfully, I had been fortunate enough to drool catch a few glimpses of his shapely calves earlier as he walked back and forth to the water fountain.

Self-control sucks.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Pucker Up

[r a m b l i n g] A reasonably good-looking guy who you're hanging out with and whom you know for a fact to be gay keeps putting on chap stick every five minutes. This means:

a) He has severely chapped lips (damn those brisk winter winds!)
b) He's a mirror-obsessed pretty boy
c) He has a unique obsessive-compulsive habit
d) He's prepping to make out, and he hopes it's with you

Seriously, I'm asking, I don't know. It happened on my vacation a week ago. I may have missed out on an opportunity! But sadly I'm not the type of guy to kiss a random guy (or girl), much less on a first meeting (a.k.a. after a 10 minute conversation) with other friends present in a situation that doesn't even remotely qualify as a date.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Ode to the Lonely Hearted

[r a m b l i n g] When I'm feeling lonely and unloved, my reaction is to embrace my pathetic reality and act like a martyr. The irony of such a strategy is that martyrdom is difficult to achieve when nobody's around to notice or give a damn.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Six Word Movie Review

[r a n t] Twelve is NOT the new Eleven.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

I'm Back from Vacation and All You Get is This Lousy Blog Post

[r a m b l i n g] I survived the road trip, despite the impending feeling of doom that I felt prior to hitting the highway. Didn't see a single snowflake, though it was raining like the dickens on the way back yesterday. I've also decided that despite their importance to American commerce, there are far too many semi trucks on the road, which can make being a passenger in a compact car hurtling down an interstate at 80 miles an hour a bit more frightening than it should be. We also made the mistake of driving through downtown Chicago during rush hour on the way back; I'm sure Gladys can attest to the stupidity of that move (P.S. I was waving at every L train we passed along the Dan Ryan and Kennedy, did you see me?). I was never so glad to see Wisconsin in my life (P.S. to Bobby, I also waved at Madison on the way through).

As for the trip itself, it was pretty fun and good to see an old friend again. I also discovered she has an abundance of gay co-workers, including one delicious dude who I was hoping to sneak off and make out with. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to happen since my friend doesn't know about my sexual confusion (although her gay-dar is much more accurate than mine, so she probably knows about me better than I do myself).

I ate way too much unhealthy crap and drank way more than I ever do on this vacation, so it's going to be nothing but turkey sandwiches and sit-ups for the next two weeks to make up for it. If today's heavy-breathing at the gym is any indication, it's going to be a long two weeks. I probably shouldn't complain though; I actually lost half a pound since last week, thank goodness for my sexy fast metabolism!

[i n b o x] Hi to regular reader Jenny, who gave my ego an always welcome boost by saying she finds my blog hilarious!

You can boost this boy too: anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

I am Vacation Boy

[r a m b l i n g] I'm off on a road trip tomorrow with a co-worker to visit a former co-worker and old friend. My adventures will take me from my rodent-nicknamed Midwestern state through another rodent-nicknamed Midwestern state and couple of other states with nicknames that I don't understand (what exactly are Illini and Hoosiers?); then we'll zip through the state that slowed this year's election returns, before arriving in my destination state, which fortunately went blue as a battleground prize.

That's the annoyingly cryptic way of saying I won't be writing for about a week, and this time for a good reason, as opposed to the laziness and lack of original thought that has made my posting rather irregular over the past month.

I'm not entirely sure what possessed me to agree to a road trip in December, especially considering the potential weather we could encounter. So assuming I don't get snowed in somewhere, I'll talk at y'all next week.

--A.

Channeling My Inner Preppy

[r a m b l i n g] Apparently my long-dormant shopping gene was awakened today. I bought four new shirts at Aeropostale, and afterward I felt this odd twinge of joy at the new additions to my wardrobe. Now, combine the new shirts with my favorite American Eagle jeans and Abercrombie underwear, and I've become the poster child for Fratboy America.

Plus, because I spent so much, I earned a free $10 gift card so I can buy more stuff later!

Ah, capitalism.

[u p d a t e] No sooner do I write about how disenchanted I am with my job, than my boss calls me in for an evaluation, lauding me with praise and literally saying "I wish more of our employees could be as dedicated as you." It doesn't make me love the job again, but it is good to have the ego stroked once in awhile. Since nothing else is getting str--- ok, you know where that sentence was going.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com