Downhill Slide

rambling>>> I'm far too young to be feeling so old, yet I guess I've been having somewhat of a quarter-life crisis lately. It's like I suddenly looked up and realized I'm 27, and whoa, what the hell happened!?

It doesn't help that I surround myself by youth. While I fall along the average age among my co-workers (or perhaps even skew younger), I tend to socialize (however infrequently) with the younger ones. It also doesn't help when you have so-called friends like HCW (Hottie Co-Worker) who jokes that I'm from the "older generation," when we're only 3 years apart.

Then there are my favorite blogs. A few clicks on the sidebar will take you to more than few collegiate gay boys (or recently collegiate gay boys) whose lives I live vicariously though on a daily basis. It reminds me how much I missed out on back in the college days; both because I was (and still am) in the closet, and because I didn't live on campus. I was too studious, and too focused on the goal. Sure, I got good grades, but I never really did anything fun (read: no parties). Then it was off to my first job, and I've been almost entirely career-oriented since then.

Reclaiming (or just finally experiencing) that youthful feeling is probably partly why I've been contemplating coming out more than ever before. I've missed out on too much time when I could be loving a lovely boy, or just plain having fun and enjoying who I really am.

I'm also strongly considering going back to school, maybe taking some grad school classes. But, really, that would just put me right back on the career track. I still wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the campus experience, (a) because I'm kinda old for dorm life, and (b) because I'll need to maintain employment to be able to afford the classes.

However, I would be able to stare at college hotties on a regular basis, and what's so bad about that?

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com