Anonyboy: August 2005

Writer's Block

rambling>>> Ever have one of those moments when you just stare blankly at a computer screen thinking of something to creative to write? Yeah, I'm having one of those moments. So I'm writing about it. (See what I did there?)

The only thing of note is that, as I write this, the blog is about to pass 20,000 page views. Woohoo! And thanks, y'all.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Displaced Memories, Vol. 2

rambling>>> When I was in kindergarten, I was so deathly afraid of the loud fire alarms that I refused to go to school. When my Dad drove me there anyway, I retaliated by throwing up outside the school's doors. I remember it vividly because it was pink and stood out in the snow. (Besides the "ew" at the pink puke, why was I afraid of fire alarms in the winter?)

This came up because the fire alarms went off today at the gym and I didn't even bat an eye. Sure it was a test, and only a test. But either I'm no longer afraid of loud sounds or I'm getting so severely desensitized that I'm going to suffer some serious burns some day.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Moody

rambling>>> It seems like everybody I know is in a horribly timed funk for a Friday. And of course it would fall on one of the two days this week that I'm actually in a decent mood. Boo.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Cruelty to Animals

rambling>>> I am tired of having carrots dangled in front of me, only to be snatched away.

By "carrots," I mean promising job opportunities. By "snatched away," I mean they were given to someone else. It's happened three times in the last three months.

THREE TIMES.

I feel a little like road kill.

Actually, I'm just stuck in my locked cage for awhile longer. I guess it's not all bad, they do throw me table scraps once in awhile.

DISCLAIMER: No animals were harmed in the writing of this post. With the exception of a 27-year-old, beige-colored mammal with puppy dog eyes. And sharp teeth. Grr.

Oh, and a lousy animal metaphor was abused and beaten beyond all recognition. Call the literary police before the suspect starts attacking onomatopoeias!

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

A Place to Call Home

rambling>>> I've been living "temporarily" ever since I left my parents house nearly six years ago. Two apartments followed by two years sharing half a duplex with The Roommate. I still have stuff in boxes that I haven't unpacked since I first moved!

Part of the reason I'm so anxious to move is to make enough money to get a place that finally feels like home. But it's going to take some work to stock it up. I barely have enough furniture to fill one room, let alone an entire apartment or (gasp!) a house. I only have one rocking chair for the living room, a beat-up table and chairs for the dining room, and a bed, dresser, small bookshelf, and desk for the bedroom. That's it. Oh, and two televisions, two computers and a few hundred dollars worth of DVDs. You see where my priorities lie.

I suppose I could just stop blowing my life savings on silly things like cars (Gotta get to my current low-paying job somehow) and fast new laptops (Porn doesn't fall out of thin air! Though wouldn't it be cool if it did?) and maybe I could get something now. But what fun would that be? A big empty house to rattle around in, and nothing to put in it!

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Ch-Ch-Changes

rambling>>> I'm feeling particularly ancy about my need for a new job and new surroundings this week. But by the same token, changing everything I know to be true is also a daunting and extremely frightening proposition.

I witnessed several examples of that when I went home to visit family this weekend. First, I stared mortality in the face when I visited my grandmother, who is undergoing a second round of physical therapy after her second surgery in a month. Thank God she seems to be doing well. Then my Dad declared he too was considering finding a new job, which would uproot my parents from the only home I've ever known (or at least since I was 1 1/2).

The most striking example though was perhaps also the most mundane: they renumbered several of the roads around the area where I grew up. Some county planner somewhere got the bright idea to change something that has been the same for decades, for no good reason that I can figure out. It was 48 for years and now it's 93? Why? I can't even give people directions to my parents' house anymore because I don't know the road numbers. Although if they move, I won't have to worry about that.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Snooze

rambling>>> I haven't been having many dreams lately, at least not many I can remember. Waking up every hour during the night kind of makes it difficult.

Weekends, however, are when I make up for lost sleep, and apparently last night I was also making up for days of lost dreams. There was one about work and one about family. But the one that still sticks out was the first one of the night: I had a dream about reading blogs!

I'm not sure if it was a nightmare or not.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

With a Song in my Heart

rambling>>> I woke up this morning with a song stuck in my head. Actually, not so much a song as a tune. It's not really that uncommon; if I've been obsessing over a certain song, I'll sometimes wake up with it playing in my brain. Or sometimes the song that's playing when the radio alarm clock goes off will get on my mind too. But today was different. I woke up a couple of minutes before the alarm (grr!), and I didn't recognize the song, it was just there.

Being somewhat muscially inclined (a.k.a. all-star high school choir boy), I've been toying with the idea of writing my own song, and since I didn't recall hearing this particular tune before, I figured I had been inspired or otherwise granted this great melody by the powers of fate.

Of course, I had to go to work and couldn't sit down and try to figure out how to write it out. And now I can't remember it all.

It was a damn good song, too.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Flawed

rambling>>> Everything went well at the dentist. But the thide of my fayth ith thtill numm, tho who knowth?

It wasn't traumatic, but it was kind of sad. My teeth were the last part of me that was perfect, and now that's ruined.

Damn, that's kind of depressing when I say it like that.

Oh well. A candy bar and big soda pop will help me get over it!

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Ow, My Eye!

rambling>>> I suppose I should maybe start listening when the instructions say not to wear these day/night contact lenses for longer than a month. It's been three now. But they're so easy to forget when you never have to take them out!

But at least the painful blinking should distract me from the sight and sound of a drill coming at my mouth in a couple of hours.

A progress report later. If I survive.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Drilled

rambling>>> Tomorrow will be my first time!! (Yay! Congrats! Way to go, stud!)

Well, ok, it's my first time to get a dental filling. (Boo! You suck! Pussy!)

It's not like I'm going under the knife, it's not that traumatic. And I really shouldn't complain, since I survived the surgery to get my wisdom teeth out about nine years ago, and they knocked me out for that one. Fears of not waking up from anesthesia were quickly put to rest when the surgery seemed to be over before it started. One minute, the nurse was talking to me, the next, she's leading me to a waiting room with my mouth full of gauze. It was like a half-hour of my life disappeared in an instant.

The best part of wisdom tooth removal is that I was on a steady diet of milkshakes that night (but not with a straw, it could pull out the stitches!). I avoided the really powerful painkillers the majority of the time (fool!) and I even went back to work too early (fast food at the time-- don't laugh, it helped me pay for college!), but quickly regretted it when everyone kept yelling "What?" since I could barely open my mouth to speak.

So a little novacaine and 20 minutes in a dental chair should be nothing. I'm not scared. Really.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

One of Those Days

rant>>> AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

There. I feel better now.

Well, not really. But it was a nice try.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Nasal Retentive

rambling>>> Some of my favorite scents, in no particular order:

A freshly mowed lawn (noticed today and inspired this post)

A spring rain

Apple pie!

Old Spice (reminds me of HCW)

Armani's Acqua Di Gio (my scent; and it reminds me of an old friend)

I'll add to this as I think of stuff.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Classic

rambling>>> There's a certain peaceful yet pathetic quality in watching an old Cary Grant movie by yourself on a Saturday night.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Spare Tire

rambling>>> Once again last night, I was the fifth wheel among two happy couples. I guess I'm getting used to it, but that doesn't make it any more fun. I suppose I should be grateful that The Roommate was willing to invite me along for an evening of bowling and bar-hopping with himself, his girlfriend, and another couple. There were more people invited, mostly more couples, but nobody else showed up. Perhaps I'm a tad jealous as well. The Roommate and I were both single for the longest time; now he's in a (relatively) happy relationship.

It could have been worse, I guess. The Roommate's girlfriend could have brought along my ex-hetero-dating-experiment known as Chatterbox Girl (thankfully, she had other things to do).

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

No More Mr. Nice Anonyboy

rant>>> I'm sick of being the guy who's always saying he's sorry.

For the second time in as many weeks, I got into a rather heated disagreement with a certain co-worker, with whom I always used to get along with (it's not HCW, for you regular readers). Basically, this guy's been on a power trip after a recent promotion, but essentially we're pretty even when it comes to responsibilities. This disagreement happened near the end of the work day yesterday, allowing us to start today with an awkward and tense work environment. This time, I decided to take a stand. I am not going to apologize. I always apologize. Not because I'm always the one at fault (since usually I'm right of course), but because of my incessant need for everyone to like me. I detest the silent treatment. I'll apologize for things I had nothing to do with if it'll just get someone to break out of their bad mood and talk to me again!

But not anymore. Hate me, I don't care. I don't have many friends, but I don't have many enemies either. And since I can't build on the one list, I figure I may as well work on the other.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Weigh-In

rambling>>> Should I be concerned that the scale at the gym says I gained 4 pounds in the last week (up to 155 now)?

It's all muscle, of course.

Hey! Stop laughing!

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer

rambling>>> I'm going to choose not to be offended by the cute guy with the great legs who sat on the exercise bike next to me at the gym, only to get up and move to another bike 30 seconds later... or about 15 seconds after I looked at him directly in the eyes from a personal space-violating 18 inches away. What?!! First, the bikes are placed really close together; and secondly, hey, I see a pair of hot legs, I'm going to look to see if he has a cute face to match (he did). OK, so maybe my glance became more of a stare, allowing him ample time to turn his head and catch me mid-gaze. I'm hoping he actually moved because the electronic timing device on his bike was acting wonky, and not because he wanted to put two hard-pedaling overweight women between us.

If gyms really are a bastion of pretty boy gays mingling with muscle-head athletes, then clearly I'm at the wrong one, because I've gotten nary a "hello" from anyone in the two years I've been going there. Of course, trying to look as anonymous as possible (in the real world as much as the blog) may hinder any progress in that arena.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

But I Brush Twice A Day!

rambling>>> My dentist discovered my first cavity today. I made it 27 years without one, I suppose I'm about due. It even surprised my dentist, who always raves about how great my teeth look, and he didn't even see it on the x-ray initially.

Being me, I plan to fully overreact to this development by swearing off all sodas and sugary beverages (Bye-bye lemonade! Nice to know ya, iced tea! Good-bye rum & cokes!) and I'll likely whine like a little kid to whoever will listen when I have to go back for a filling next week.

By the way, can anybody tell me why dental hygenists feel the need to carry on a conversation with you while they're knuckle-deep in your mouth with sharp instruments? At least the steady roar of the drill will drown out any conversation during my next visit...

Wait, that's not a comforting thought. I want my mommy!

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Wasted... (Not Like That)

rambling>>> This is the first day in a long time where I don't have something on the calendar, and it's going to be my only free day for awhile. Tomorrow, I have to accompany The Roommate to some dumbass event he's involved in, because I got out of a previous such invitation and couldn't think of a clever enough excuse to get out of it this time. Then it's another long week of work.

So of course I'm going to completely waste this free day by doing absolutely nothing constructive, spending most of it surfing around for random crap on the web. I used to look forward to days like this.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Nothing Nice, But Something

rambling>>> I was often told, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Well, I'm not exactly following that advice, since, like many blogs of this genre, I'm expected to use this space as some method of bastardized therapy. But I will keep it brief and say that it's been a long week, thus leaving me with little energy or motivation to write. Hopefully the weekend brings both relief and something more entertaining to post.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com

Why Anonyboy Is Now Broke

rambling>>> I've spent way too much money that I don't have in the last few days:

Because my old computer was just way too slow, and at five years old, an extinct dinosaur in the land of computers. And because Apple upped the hard drive space, added a DVD burner and wireless capabilities, and dropped the price. I forgot I still had my old college ID with me, or I could have gotten a free iPod mini, too.

Because I needed something cool to play on my fast new computer!

Because (a) the boy on the cover is hot (and from my home state as it turns out) and (b) two words on the cover: Andy Roddick. OK, so this wasn't that expensive at $4.95, but the old bag at Barnes & Noble charged me the Canadian price of $6.95, and I didn't notice til I already had my receipt in hand and was walking out of the store. Plus, who wants to argue about the price of gay mag with a hot piece of man candy on the cover with an old lady who was looking curiously and a touch uncomfortably at the magazine as she searched for (and obviously misread) the price above the UPC symbol.

anonyboy2004@hotmail.com